Today's Sign That the Apocalypse is Upon Us

Albert Einstein reportedly said this:
“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”

And even if he didn't, the theory makes a hell of a lot of sense.

So imagine my wonder when i wake up to this story on the front page of my RSS reader:
Are Mobile Phones Wiping Out Bees?

A few more clicks and i find this story blaming genetically modified crops; and two (1, 2) more explaining Colony Collapse Disorder.

You know, my idea of the end of the world was always far more exciting than this. Something like a nuclear holocaust in which 9 Victoria Secret models and I are the only survivors and I become their fearless, bare chested leader as we hide in Aruba an begin repopulating the earth...
I never really imagined all of us just starving to death. Presidents and Prime Ministers and peasants all sharing the same immediate fate. And yet, this seems 100% more realistic.

Watching Out for Abnormal Behavior

So Bush is pimping the VaTech massacre as a reason to be ever vigilant against random and unsubstantiated threats. The threats of what you may ask? Terrorism? Goth kids?

Well, as usual, he wasn't specific but one can only imagine that by "abnormal behavior" he meant being gay, black, Mexican, Islamic, an environmentalist or a democrat. Also, we can probably safely assume that by getting an abortion, not being Christian, driving a Hybrid car, not eating meat or living in Oregon (sorry guys but anyone who lives there is a pot smoking, socialist hippie as far as he's concerned...) is also "abnormal."

It's these type of blanket generalizations from the Bush administration that i'm really going to miss when their time is up.

VaTech

We've all been oddly quiet about the happenings at Virginia Tech since it happened...whether it be a statement of sadness, a reflection on the fragility of human life or an angry diatribe about psychotically depressed loners lashing out in the worst of ways, i thought someone would write something. But it looks like i'm first.

I don't really have the time or energy to speak as deeply as i'd like to about this (although i'd sure like to find some of both.) but i will say that knowing people who lived through Columbine and growing up in a world where this type of behavior has become increasingly acceptable, that at no time in my entire college career did i go to sleep in my dorm room, walk through campus or attend class with the slightest inclination that someone might go apeshit and shoot me or my classmates. It never went through my mind. And now that i think about it, it was completely possible that it could have happened. It should have happened. In fact, it still might. All the ingredients are in place.

The two schools i attended, CU and ASU, had such a diverse and completely disconnected student population. There were the rich, out-of-state kids (of which i was arguably one) that walk around like their shit doesn't stink and there were the not-so-rich, in-state kids that could have come from anywhere with any type of background. These two colleges were just as cliquey and segregated and unfair as high school was. Maybe worse. I feel that i am a fairly normal and balanced person but there were times at both of those schools where i felt so alone and so brushed aside by every other person around me and so absolutely forgotten about. I'm a generally happy and decent person and if i felt this way at times, i can only imagine the thousands of other students that must have felt/feel the same way, if not hundreds of times worse. It now occurs to me that it is an absolute miracle that a similar massacre has not happened before and does not happen more frequently.

With that said, this was not my intention in this post. My intention was to call attention to this screen capture of MSNBC that i just saw:




I don't know how well you'll be able to see it (click on it and it'll get bigger) but the image above is from the main page of the Va Tech story on MSNBC.com in which 33 people, including the shooter, died. Now i'm not diminshing the loss of human life at all. A life is a life is a life. They're all equal in my book and one person being killed is one too many as far as i'm concerned but what kills me (sorry, bad term) is the story at the bottom of the column that says "Top MSNBC Stories." If you can't see it, again, i'll tell you what it says... "183 killed in a 4 Baghdad Blasts."

183?!?!?! One Hundred and Eighty Fucking Three! Our nation goes into mourning and the President drops everything to go to the college and speak when 33 people are killed, yet every single day a headline like the Baghdad one slides right by on the ticker and we barley even fucking blink. This is so typical and indicative of everything that is wrong with this country, our society and humanity as a whole.

1,200 people died in Hurricane Katrina and we're still talking about it. And we'll still be talking about it during this entire summer's hurricane season and during next year's Super Bowl in New Orleans. When's the last time you heard about, or even thought about, the 250,000 people killed in the Indonesian Tsunami? That's a quarter of a million people just wiped off the face of the earth and we declare a national day of mourning for 33?

3,000 people died on 9-11 and we've killed somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,000 times (and counting) that many, just to get even for it. That would be like us bombing South Korea because of what this kid did. Seems stupid right? Well, we're doing it every day. (And don't put it past ol Georgie to think about attacking Seoul. Honestly, would it surprise you?)

Mothers die by the thousands from AIDS in Africa. Millions of people are killed in Ugandan genocide. Hundreds of thousands of children die every day from starvation. And the U.S. is getting letters of condolence from every leader in the free world for 33?!?

I'm not taking anything away from those 32 (i'm not counting the murderer, fuck him) people who were killed this week. Don't get me wrong. Their lives were stolen from them selfishly by a sad and ignorant person who needed attention and that is an absolutely tragedy if and whenever it happens.

All i'm saying is that something isn't right with this picture. Something is Majorly. Fucked. Up.

Today's Sign That The Apocalypse is Upon Us.

German Technology VS Arab Technology

Now i know this isn't really a VW commercial but someone still took the time to make this...

Not sure how i feel about it. I guess i could be mad if i want to be all PC but some part of me wants to think its hilarious and well-placed satire.

Any thoughts?

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

One of my (our) favorite writers has died. He was 84.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

Update: Check out this story about Vonnegut working at Sports Illustrated. Too funny.

Good News of The Week

Because we do so much negative stuff here. This is something i can smile about: Hank Aaron tells Barry Bonds to Fuck Himself.

Holy F-ing Shit

This can't be real can it? Are we really going to attack Iran? Aren't we in deep enough shit as it is? Who's running this place? (Although the site isn't the most reputable, it's still kind of insane if there is even a fraction of truth here.)

I often joke here about the world ending and i don't want to be overly dramatic, but this could really be it right? I mean, we're talking about attacking a huge country with a big army and developed weapons systems who is run by a batshit crazy leader who outwardly hates jews, western culture and has given speeches about the Holocaust being a myth. This can't end well.

If the shit hits the fan, i'm getting out of the big cities and heading to Bend, Oregon. Think you guys can get a room ready for me? ha.